Wednesday 28 December 2011

Testing times

Well, we're back in London and all unpacked.  StupidCat has settled back into his favourite sleeping position (flat on his back, all four paws in the air) and it's nice to be home.

As I still haven't started my period (and still don't feel even vaguely periody), we picked up a pregnancy test today in Tesco.  They'd sold out of most of them!  I guess that tells you something either a) everyone is as organised as I am and everyone wants a September baby or b) there were a lot of "unplanned encounters" over the festive period!

I'm now three days overdue, so felt that if I was pregnant, I should definitely get a positive result.  Most tests you can take and expect a reliable result from the day you first miss your period.  People say they sometimes "feel" pregnant.  Never having been pregnant before, I don't think I can really claim that one.  I don't feel any different whatsoever, which made me think there's no chance I'm pregnant - it's probably just an extended cycle.

I sneaked a little-used mug out of the kitchen cupboard for a urine sample (don't worry - it'll go in the dishwasher!) and toddled upstairs.  I find it extremely tricky to pee on a stick - why complicate things?  What I wasn't prepared for was how nervous I was.  I know that this is just our first month of trying, and at 32, I'm probably less fertile than I was at 25, so the chances of having conceived were fairly slim.  Nevertheless, my hands were shaking as I opened the packet.

I did the test, and waited the prescribed three minutes.  The tests have two lines that show when you do the test; the first line shows that the test is working; the second line will only appear if you're pregnant.  The control line appeared... and nothing else.  So, not pregnant.

But at £5 a pop, I think I might have a look on eBay and see if I can get some cheaper pregnancy tests for the future.  And maybe an ovulation kit.

I told my husband; we're both fine about it.  But it is strange how shaky I was.  I think it's less to do with desperately wanting a child, and more to do with the scary impact it would have on our lives!

Sunday 25 December 2011

Big fat family Christmas

Happy Christmas!

It's a big family Christmas as usual this year; my husband and I have gone to my parents' house, as has my brother and his girlfriend, plus my 88 year-old grandma, so it's a full house.

One of my best friends - Michela - came round last night with her new baby, Rose, who's now three months old.  Michela has never been a particularly broody person, so it was fascinating for me to see how naturally she seems to have taken to motherhood, and how laid back she is about everything.  I genuinely can't imagine being in charge of another human's life!

Anyway, today we all ate and drank too much, and talked about old times.

In other news, my period was due today, but nothing so far.  I don't feel at all periody, but I don't feel at all - anything.  It's a couple of days late quite frequently (and I have a long cycle of at least 33 days), so I'm not too hopeful.  My husband and I are coming back to London tomorrow.  If I've still no period by the day after Boxing Day, I'll get a pregnancy test from the supermarket.  Look at me, planning ahead!  I'm such a loser!

Monday 5 December 2011

The time has come

"The time has come," the Walrus said, 
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes - and ships - and sealing-wax-  
Of cabbages - and kings - 
And why the sea is boiling hot - 
And whether pigs have wings."

Or in our case, the time has come... to start to try to conceive.  We've decided to go for it; despite there being lots of reasons why we shouldn't (not an ideal time for my career, wouldn't it be better to save more money first? etc. etc.) the truth of the matter is I'm 32 now, and it's not unlikely that it might take us a year to conceive.  So let's roll up those sleeves and get started*.

So, with the help of my trusty iPhone menstrual calendar, I figured out that in December, the week commencing the 5th was my "fertile period".  It seems amazing, putting faith into a free app, but hey ho.

Today was our first "official" session of unprotected sex.  There have been times previously where we've been a bit... lax, but they've been very few and far between.  I'm not a big fan of the contraceptive pill (when I tried it, I had a bad hormonal reaction and felt very down), so we use the old-fashioned, but, so far, reliable, diaphragm.  I would highly recommend the diaphragm by the way.  It's less invasive than hormonal methods, but feels more "natural" than condoms (and you can be a bit more spontaneous too).

Of course, I'm saying it's reliable, but for all I know, I'm completely unable to conceive, diaphragm or no!

So, the unprotected sex... felt really naughty actually - and therefore extremely enjoyable.  There is something delicious about knowing there's nothing at all between the two of you.  It's of course completely psychological, but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

After sex, I kept my hips raised on a pillow for half an hour or so.  To be honest, the whole thing feels quite silly.  And still, it feels more like trying to manage a project than create a human.

* This is how you make a baby, right?  Rolling up your sleeves?  Oh.